How to Find the Right Therapist: 5 Green Flags to Look For
Finding a therapist who’s a good fit is one of the most important parts of improving your mental health. If the relationship isn’t right, sometimes therapy can feel worse—not better. But when it is right, it becomes a partnership: you + therapist working toward healing together. Based on what Lilac Center offers, here are 5 green flags to watch for when choosing a therapist that helps you feel safe, understood, and truly supported.
1. They’re an Active Listener & Make You Feel Safe and Comfortable
A great therapist doesn’t just hear your words—they pay attention to your feelings, your tone, even what you leave unsaid. At Lilac Center, therapists provide individual therapy and group DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) sessions where active listening is central.
You should feel physically and emotionally safe and comfortable in the therapy sessions. If you feel judged, rushed, or something feels off, that’s a sign something might not be a good fit.
2. Strong Therapeutic Relationship & Trust
A healthy client-therapist relationship is built on trust: that your therapist respects your pace, maintains confidentiality, and honors your experiences. Lilac Center emphasises distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and mindfulness—all of which require trust in order to be useful.
If you ever think “I don’t want to be honest because they’ll judge me,” that means the therapeutic relationship might not be safe enough yet.
3. Evidence-Based Practices & Skilled Training
Therapy methods backed by research usually give better outcomes. Lilac Center offers DBT, a well-researched, evidence-based therapy, including individual therapy, skills training, group programs, and more.
A green flag: the therapist can explain why they’re using a certain method, or how a particular technique might help you.
4. They Recognize When You Don’t Feel Comfortable & Adjust
No one should feel forced to share more than they’re ready for. Good therapists check in with you: “Are you okay with this direction?”, “Would you prefer to slow down?”, etc. Lilac Center’s group therapy write-ups explicitly say there’s no pressure to share until you’re ready.
If a therapist ignores signs of discomfort or pushes you too fast, that’s a red flag.
5. Transparency about Logistics & Support (Including Insurance)
You want to know what to expect: how often sessions will be, how long therapy might last, how billing works, whether they take your insurance. Lilac Center lists “Pricing and Insurance” as one of its main navigation items.
A great therapist is upfront about costs, cancellation policies, insurance coverage—so nothing is hidden that might make you feel more stressed later.
What to Watch Out For (Red Flags)
While green flags point to a good therapist, here are a few red flags to be cautious about:
Feeling worse after sessions regularly, instead of gradual improvement or recovery.
Therapist dismisses your feelings, or makes you feel shamed.
Lack of structure or clear goals in therapy sessions.
Avoidance of discussing things that matter to you.
Over-promising outcomes, or pressuring you beyond your comfort.
Final Thoughts
When finding a therapist, remember: it’s about more than just credentials. The way you interact, the way they listen, how they make you feel, how they respond when things are uncomfortable—all of that matters.
Lilac Center provides many examples of what to look for: evidence-based therapies (like DBT), skilled and trained therapists, safe environments, confidentiality, and being responsive to clients.
Trust your gut. You deserve a therapeutic relationship where you feel safe and comfortable—and a therapist who helps you grow without making you feel worse.