Managing Holiday Stress with DBT Skills

The holidays can bring connection, joy, and celebration—but they can also bring stress, pressure, and emotional overwhelm. Family dynamics, financial strain, packed schedules, and heightened expectations can push your nervous system past its limit. If you notice yourself feeling tense, drained, or overstimulated this time of year, you’re not alone.

DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) offers practical, grounding skills that can help you navigate the season with greater calm and emotional clarity. At Lilac Center, we often use DBT tools to help clients manage overwhelm and respond to stress in healthier, more intentional ways.

Here’s how each DBT skill area can support you during the holiday season.

1. Mindfulness: Staying Present Instead of Spiraling

The holidays can activate worry about the past, stress about the future, and pressure to “hold it together.” Mindfulness brings you back to the present moment so your emotions don’t snowball.

Try:

· Taking three slow breaths before responding to anything stressful

· Noticing what you see, hear, smell, and feel

· Saying internally, “Right now, I am safe”

· Observing your emotions without judging them

Mindfulness helps you move through holiday moments with more stability and less reactivity.

2. Distress Tolerance: Getting Through Overwhelming Moments

When emotions peak—during a difficult family conversation, a crowded gathering, or a wave of grief—distress tolerance skills help you survive the moment without making things worse.

Use: TIPP Skills

· Temperature: splash cool water on your hands or face

· Intense exercise: take a brisk walk

· Paced breathing: inhale for 4, exhale for 6

Self-Soothing Use your senses to comfort yourself—warm tea, a soft blanket, calming music.

Grounding Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can feel, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste.

These skills help you ride out emotional waves until they pass.

3. Emotion Regulation: Reducing Stress Before It Builds

The holidays can be emotionally draining, especially if you’re juggling multiple responsibilities or navigating challenging relationships. Emotion regulation helps keep your emotional baseline steady so stress doesn’t escalate as quickly.

Try:

· Maintaining regular sleep, meals, and hydration

· Scheduling small moments of joy each day

· Saying no to commitments that overwhelm you

· Limiting alcohol if it heightens your emotions

· Practicing opposite action when stuck in sadness or anxiety

Emotion regulation isn’t about suppressing feelings—it’s about giving your body what it needs to stay balanced.

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Communicating Your Needs Clearly

Holiday gatherings often mean navigating expectations, boundaries, and emotions—either yours or someone else’s. Interpersonal effectiveness skills help you express your needs without guilt and maintain healthier communication.

Use: DEAR MAN

· Describe the situation

· Express how you feel

· Assert your need

· Reinforce why it matters

Example: “Mom, I’m feeling overwhelmed. I need to step outside for a few minutes. I’ll be back soon.”

FAST (maintaining self-respect)

· Fair to yourself

· Apologies kept to a minimum

· Stick to your values

· Truthful communication

Healthy boundaries protect your peace during stressful moments.

Putting It All Together: DBT for a Gentler Holiday Season

Using DBT skills during the holidays might look like:

· Taking a breath before walking into a gathering

· Stepping outside to regulate when emotions rise

· Declining an invitation that drains you

· Grounding yourself when family conflict appears

· Communicating your limits with clarity and compassion

· Giving yourself permission to rest

Small steps can make the season feel lighter and more manageable.

You Deserve a Holiday Season That Supports Your Well-Being

Holiday stress is real—and if you’re feeling it, you are not alone. DBT offers tools that help you stay grounded, cope with emotional intensity, and move through the season with more ease.

If you want additional support or want to deepen your DBT skills, Lilac Center is here to help.

Reach out today to schedule a session and learn how DBT can support your emotional well-being—during the holidays and beyond.